My heart hurts today…


On November 4th, 2008, Californians voted not to allow people of the same sex to get married, even though the California Supreme Court ruled that it was unconstitutional to prevent humans of their basic right to marry the person they love.

My fiancĂ©, Arann and I were at the Westin Hotel in San Francisco on election night, with our dear friends who worked so hard on the No on 8 campaign to protect equality for all. The huge ball room was packed with couples who were so nervous that their right to marry the person, who they loved most in the world, would be taken away. The room was thick with emotions, as we all waited and waited and waited. The numbers coming in were not good. And eventually, they told everyone to go home because we wouldn’t have an answer until the morning… but we all knew.

And today my heart hurts.


Arann and I are supposed to get married on April 4, 2009. But I called him from the airport today and said I didn’t think we should get married. And he said he was thinking the same thing.

When we first got engaged, I wasn’t so sure about the idea of having a wedding. But slowly the idea grew on us and we started to understand the importance. A wedding is not a marriage, but it is a ceremony that brings together all the love and support of everyone in your community, as you take this huge step forward.

So, the more we thought about the meaning of our big step forward, the more we felt it was important to have our community with us, as we vow to care for each other for the rest of our lives. It is especially important to us that my grandparents, who will celebrate their 65 wedding anniversary next year, are there to pass on their advice and inspiration to us.


So, we picked a day and we started making plans. A hike, followed by a ceremony, followed by a reception with a collective art show, with the theme: Advice, followed by good food and dancing. We thought that would be the perfect way to enter into the next stage of our lives as a married couple.

But as we stood there election night, surrounded by people whose hearts were breaking as they were told their marriages would no longer be accepted… we started to question why we should have the right to marry, when other people don’t, just because their body parts are the same.

It doesn’t make any sense to me. In a world of such hatred and fighting, why wouldn’t we want to encourage and support people who want to build their community? Why don’t we want to encourage people to promise to love and care for each other for the rest of their lives? If it is about God, I was taught that we are not supposed to judge, so… then let God judge, if that is what you believe.

Same sex marriages will not hurt you.

The pesticides people spray on their lawns that washes into the storm drains, and into the rivers, and pollutes the water, and kills the fish, and breaks down the food chain… will hurt you. The SUV’s people drive that consume a lot of gas and spit out a lot of carbon dioxide that heats up the planet, and melts the glaciers, and raises the sea levels… will hurt you. But allowing people to love the person they choose to love in their own homes… will not hurt you.

So, Arann and I would like to get married. We want the love and support of our community, but we don’t want to get married until everyone can. And so today, my heart hurts and my eyes are sore from crying because I have a better understanding of what it feels like not to be able to marry the person you love.

If you believe in equality for all, please take a moment and sign this petition:

Thank you for your support.


If That’s What You’re In To….

My bestest friend and avid blogger, Nici, aka: Dig This Chick, from Montana, challenged me, and some other bloggers, to share our favorite music: past and present. Here’s the challenge: THE ORIGINAL RULES: List seven songs you are into right now. Tag seven other people to see what they are listening to. Nici’s TWIST: List…

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My bestest friend and avid blogger, Nici, aka: Dig This Chick, from Montana, challenged me, and some other bloggers, to share our favorite music: past and present.

Here’s the challenge:

List seven songs you are into right now. Tag seven other people to see what they are listening to.

Nici’s TWIST:
List seven albums you were into ten years ago.

And because I love music, I decided to play along. So here’s what I said, with a couple of changes because it means I get to add more….

Current Obsessions:

The Bluebellies
have to be on my list, because the lead singer is super hot (see photo above) and I love songs about chickens. But because I am engaged to the lead singer, they don’t count, so this is just a shameless plug.

Bon Iver, love love his whole album. His voice fills my soul with love and I get all emotional. Favorite songs: skinny love and flume.

Thao Nguyen. She is amazing rocking little woman, especially when you see her live. Favorite songs: Bag of Hammers (click to see a cute video) and Beat.

Modest Mouse jumped on my list 4 years ago with album ‘Good News for People Who Love Bad News.’ And my current old favorite song of theirs is Baby Blue Sedan.

Flight of the Conchords: If that’s what you’re into tied with Business Time (click to see cute videos.)

The Knife sung originally by Heartbeats and then remade by Jose Gonzales, I like both versions equally but for different mood swings.

M Ward’s Chinese Translation… (click to see a cute video.)

And for the last one… this is so hard because I have a million others… but here goes:

The Bright Eyes song: First Day of my Life makes me well up every time (cute video.)

And as for my favorites 7 years ago… it was more about albums and less about songs… maybe that is evidence as to how the music industry has changed with the ipod shuffle phenomenon.

Counting Crows: August and Everything After. Still love it, but it is a little embarrassing to admit now, because everything after their ‘everything after’ album is not so good.

Indigo Girls: Swamp Ophelia. I was singing at the top of my lungs in the car with Nici.

Outcast: Aquemini. I went to UGA (go dawgs) and saw them in concert, way before Hey-Ya, although they are a good example of a group that actually improves with time.

Sublime: Sublime (all-purpose cd just like flour.)

Dave Matthews Band: Under the Table and Dreaming (it was unavoidable.)

Smashing Pumpkins: Adore.

Ani diFranco: Living in Clip

Feel free to post your lists in the comments below, or post on your own blog and link, either way, it’s fun to discover new music.

Ready. Set. Go!

Life after school…

So this is a summary of December….

arann-london-4760.jpg paigegreen13-12-07-010.jpg livingroom-07-4280.jpg gabrielle-12-07-02.jpg naylors-07-4858.jpg engaged-4652.jpg

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Worlds collided as Arann came to London and got to experience my new British home away from home.

Work continued as I photographed our good friend Claire who was selling up a cupcake storm at the Covent Garden Night Market.

Spent quality time with friends as my impending departure drew near.

More work, this time photographing one-week old Claudia with her big sister in time for the Holiday card season. Her mom was worried that she wouldn’t photograph well, being so new to the world, but add an adorable big sister and I think we got some keepers.

Facebook reunions. I am now a shameless advocate for internet networking after being reunited with childhood friends from Hong Kong who I had not seen in over 20 years.

Arann and I got engaged at the Isle of Wight and were congratulated by a 100 seagulls flying over our heads.

Then back to the States and a rainy NYC at Christmas time.

Then over to my traditional mid-west Christmas celebration in Carbondale, Illinois….14 people in one house.

And back to Petaluma where I re-assumed my role as photographer of The Bluebellies at their New Year’s Eve gig at The Western, in Point Reyes California.

And that was the end of 2007. Happy 2008.

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