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Apple Dumplings, Root Beer Saloon, My Grandparents and Me…

It has been over 15 years since my last solo trip to visit my grandparents… and that is 15 years too long.

I am very lucky. I get to see my grandparents, who live 2,173 miles away from me, at least twice a year. But those visits usually include at least 12 other relatives as well, making one-on-one time highly unlikely.

So when I knew I was going to Missouri for the fiber arts book I am working on, I decided to make a special trip to see my grandparents, who live in the next state over. And it was wonderful.

As I drove our usual route to their house, the endless fields of corn and soybeans were the first difference that I noticed. Because in December, when we usually go to their house, the endless fields of corn and soybeans just look like endless fields of flat brown-ness. They laughed when I told them about my astute observation.

So the next day, my grandparents took me on a drive to see more of their farm and wine country.

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The first stop on our adventure was an old apple orchard where we got to watch the machinery sort and bag the apples. Watching the machine put the twist-ties on the bags was the most surprising part. I never thought about how the twist-ties got on to bags of apples before.

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We met the patriarch of a 4th generation apple farm. He told us their farm started with 42 acres, but now it has grown to over 2,000 acres, and a lot of their apples go to Wal-Mart. He doesn’t think his grandchildren have any interest in taking over the farm.

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I had my very first apple dumpling. Although, I couldn’t tell much difference between it and apple pie. It tasted the same, but just a little more gooey. Next time I think I will stick with the pie, like my Grandma.

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After filling up on pie and dumplings, we drove through a small town that is home of the Root Beer Saloon. Honestly, I was so full from sweet stuff already, I couldn’t imagine having a root beer… but how could I not?

I told them we had to go in, because Arann would have wanted us too, and I was glad we did.

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Not only is it a Root Beer Saloon, but the husband/owner also makes custom guitars and is a taxidermist. So the place was covered head to toe with amazing dead things to look at. Sadly, I was told no photographs, but I managed to get this one in, before I was politely asked to refrain.

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To make me feel better, the wife/owner offered to take our picture. At the time, I reluctantly agreed to, in a humoring sort of way. But now I am so glad I did. It was such a special occasion and I am grateful to have a photo remind me of our adventure together… just the three of us.

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When I die there should be no sad songs for me…

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In September of 2017, on the cusp of my fortieth birthday, I set a new decade resolution to spend more time with my ninety-three year old grandfather. As a documentary photographer, with an interest in communities, I asked my grandfather if he’d like to do a portrait and interview project in his retirement community. My grandfather said, “yes.”

My goals for this project were simple. I wanted to have quality time with my grandfather, I wanted to honor and appreciate this last chapter of his life and the community that he chose to spend it with. When I asked him who he wanted to focus on for the project, my grandfather chose the coffee group that he religiously meets with every morning except for Sunday.

The result of that project was a book of portraits and interview excerpts called The Coffee Group that I shared with my grandfather’s community in summer of 2018.

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On March 19th, 2019, my grandfather, Robert Harper, passed away at 5:30am. He was the foundation of our family and he will be greatly missed. I will be forever grateful for the time I had working with him on this project, and his words are a comfort as we figure out how to recalibrate our family without our navigator. Here is my grandfather’s portrait and interview from the book:

Robert Harper, Geography Professor/ Author

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Sally and I met working on the high school paper. Working on the paper was really the first time that boys and girls had a chance to work together. Everything was separated, so none of us had any experience with the other sex in a social way. At Christmas that first semester Sally and I were working together, she invited me to go on a hayride sponsored by her club. Well, we went on the hayride and I was thrilled with her. But I was shy around girls, and really, adults too.

Afterward I was afraid if I called to ask her out she might say, “no,” or I might have to talk to her parents, and I didn’t want to do that. So I put it off and put it off. That’s when my best friend, George McCoy, locked me in the basement and said he wouldn’t let me out until I called her. But once that happened the dam broke and we were dating all the time.

I thought she was great. She was prickly, but we got along and I just liked being with her. She was my best friend. I was really thrilled when she put on a card one time, “The best thing I ever did was say, ‘I do.'”

My life was serendipity. It all just bubbled along. A wartime wedding and the GI Bill changed my life path. I enjoyed writing the textbooks. I enjoyed teaching. I enjoyed some of the work with organizations. I didn’t always succeed at stuff when I tried, but generally I did. I didn’t plan my life, but my life couldn’t have come out better, except that I wish Sally had lived longer, and I had lived not so long.

I was always kidding her, saying that I’d die and she’d marry some other guy. She pooh-poohed that. I certainly didn’t expect to be the one to live the longest. I don’t want to share my life anymore with anybody except her. I’m a one-woman man.

I don’t dream much, but when I dream I have almost never seen her in a dream. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss her, but I’m a pragmatist. My feeling is that when something happens, it happens. And when it’s over, it’s over, and there’s nothing you can do about it. So there’s no sense mourning about it all. You just have to go onto the next chapter.

I always was afraid of death because I didn’t think there was life after death, but now I’m to a point where it really doesn’t matter to me. When I die there should be no sad songs for me. I have had a good life. But I don’t want anybody trying to extend my life. There’s a difference between living and existing, and I don’t want to just exist.

I grew up in a religious, Republican family. Very traditional. Very conservative. Sally did too. But I think the University of Chicago changed our perspective. There was a lot of social concern and discussion of issues like that. Sally always was afraid she’d become a communist going to that school. But it changed our perspective on life. So once we rejected that old system, it was a matter of learning a new system.

I certainly have shifted from traditional Christianity to feeling that some kind of world religion will ultimately come out of this, and that a lot of religion is just superstition. When you think about how poorly most of the people have lived on the Earth, they were certainly looking for a world that was better than their lot. The poorer you were, the more you wanted.

I don’t really think that there’s life after death, but if there is, I hope they let us look down to see what’s going on in the world, because I think we’re at the beginning of a revolution that is going to change life as much as the agricultural revolution and the industrial revolution. I think this information data revolution is going to revolutionize your lives and the lives of your kids. It’s going to be a whole different ballgame.

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For more about my grandfather and how much he meant to our family:

https://paigegreenblog.com/2007/08/15/traditions/

https://paigegreenblog.com/2008/08/26/bathing-beauties/

https://paigegreenblog.com/2009/09/21/apple-dumplings-root-beer-saloon-my-grandparents-and-me/

https://paigegreenblog.com/2009/08/17/65-years-photos-for-my-blob-part-i/

https://paigegreenblog.com/2010/01/12/my-grandpa-will-always-be-my-favorite-santa/

https://paigegreenblog.com/2011/09/26/you-made-my-life/

https://paigegreenblog.com/2012/01/01/why-am-i-doing-this-again-best-of-2011/

https://paigegreenblog.com/2016/01/04/i-want-to-learn-how-to-drive-a-monster-truck-in-2016/

 

I want to learn how to drive a monster truck in 2016….

paigegreen11102015-000014890001sSaid my four-year-old, after my very inspirational and thought-provoking lesson on new year’s resolutions.

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I was hoping for, “I want to help more in the kitchen,”

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Or, “pick up trash on the beach.”

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But unfortunately I don’t get to pick his new year’s resolutions… just my own.

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And this year I am dragging my feet into the new year.

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Because I am a little terrified.

paigegreen04262015-544A1679sLife is moving much too fast. 

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While I am so incredibly ready for some long overdue and very exciting changes that are coming in 2016…

paigegreenLindsay102715-000010780002sI am not ready (and never will be) for other 2016 changes…

christmas2015-544A508024 years of Carbondale Christmases at my grandparents’ house ended this year.

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Last summer my grandfather announced that he is moving to a retirement home in Chicago by the end of January.

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While we all know this is the best decision for him…

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If we could put it off a little longer we would.

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But just like we can’t choose other people’s new year’s resolutions…

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Unfortunately we don’t get to control their actions either… just our own.

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So it is another reminder that life is short and we only get one chance to get it right.

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In trying to figure out what new year’s resolutions I should make, to help prepare me for the emotional hurdles of 2016…

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And in honor of this being my tenth anniversary as a professional photographer and my twentieth year out of high school,

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I did some journal digging while I was at my mom’s house for Christmas and I found some notes I wrote on January 22nd, 2006, from a website that was giving advice to photographers.

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Since I did not take much of that advice 10 years ago, it seems fitting that I write them again, in the hopes that it won’t take me another 10 years to get them done.

Life/Photography goals for 2016:

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Find your own vision and develop a style that will set you apart from the 30,000 other people who want your job.

paigegreenLindsay10272015-037sFind a subject you love and spend 10 hours a day, every day, photographing and editing.

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Study all major photographers’ work and life. Study all major painters, writers and composers’ work and life.

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Set a standard for your photography and your professionalism as someone who gets the job done above and beyond the call of duty.

paigegreenHabitat05142015-554-editsDon’t let yourself get in the way of yourself. If it were easy, everyone would be a professional photographer.

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Remember you are only as good as your last picture.

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Floss.
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Keep your overhead low.

Laura25-000014860009bwsStart a retirement account now.

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Keep your credit rating as close to perfect as possible – pay bills on time.

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Keep a separate account for taxes and divert a percentage that is equivalent to your tax rate. Always pay taxes on time.

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Don’t be afraid to ask for an advance for large jobs.

544A0165Don’t piss people off unless absolutely necessary.

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Get liability insurance.

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Diversify client base.

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Register copyright on everything.

paigegreenAnnPoe08222015-036 Get model releases whenever you can.

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Make sure everyone is clear, in writing, who gets what, for how long, how much.

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Never leave home without your camera, be ready always.

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Always be professional: equipment, dress, knowledge, research client.

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Call before to let client know what to expect and call immediately after to let them know how it went – without talking about images.

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Edit immediately and deliver.

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Assist but don’t get stuck assisting.

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Study as much work as you can – try to figure out how images were made and get inspiration for your own images.

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Think about stock photography.

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Family is forever – everything else is not.

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Take a workshop.
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Don’t neglect your personal work.

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Learn how to relate to people.

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Find 50 strangers, introduce yourself, shoot a portrait that says something about who they are not just what they do.

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Invest.

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Have fun.

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Happy 2016 and here’s to learning how to drive a monster truck through all that life has to offer.

 

Day 26 – MAN-venture…

When I asked HAH if he wanted to go on an adventure today, he said, “A MAN-venture.” Lucky kid gets to spend a lot of time with his dad and his dad’s creative vocabulary.171-harper2yr But today was a family-venture day, which I documented with my Rolleiflex, a medium format film camera, so no photos to share of today, yet.

173-harper2yrFortunately I didn’t share any photos last year, so here are some film photos from our Wisconsin family-venture last summer.

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Because I am the photographer, it looks like all we ever have are MAN-ventures… but occasionally I can sweet talk Arann in to photographing me so I get to be in a couple of photos too…000076850006Although it is quite funny how miserable we seem in all of these photos… but that is what can happen with slow focusing cameras, just look at any photo of your great-great-grandparents as kids.

000076820006To prove that it was actually a fun trip… here is at least one happy smiling photo to help start Monday off right.

Why Am I Doing This Again… (Best of 2011)…

Once again I feel so incredibly lucky because 2011 was another very good photography year for me.

Not only were two books with my photography published this year…


(Harvesting Color by Rebecca Burgess.)

(Cooking My Way Back Home by Mitchell Rosenthall.)

But I also started work on my third book

And I had two photographs published in The New York Times.

(Fibershed made it in the New York Times on July 7th, 2011.)

(A photo of my grandparents in The Lives They Loved)

I was hired for the first time by biggies like Nike…


and William Sonoma.

And by some cool local companies like Stemple Creek Ranch

Nest Architecture Studio

And Susan Hayes Handwovens


I also met and photographed so many inspiring individuals (especially women) who are doing inspiring things…

…Jean Near.


…Leslie Santos.

…Elizabeth Boothby.

And then there was this guy called George Lucas.

And 12 amazing weddings…

And 14…

…very…

…cute…

…families.

But as I was running around documenting other people’s lives, I was also making a little life of my own…

And now 2.5 months later, this crazy little person I created is constantly reminding me how fast everything can change in just a matter of seconds let alone a whole year.

Which leads me to the one photo from 2011 that makes my heart swell like I never knew it could…

I love this photo of my grandfather and my son not because it was published in any magazine or because it is of anyone famous. I love this photo because it helps remind me that in the end none of that fancy stuff really matters. This one photo reminds me that life is too short, we never know what is going to happen next and there are some moments we just need to hold on to.

Happy New Year everyone. Thank you for helping make 2011 a wonderful year. I look forward to seeing what lessons life brings in 2012.

Introducing… Harper Albi Harris

Born at our home on October 14th at 12:20 am.

Named after my most favorite grandparents, who taught me the importance and value of family.

(photo taken by the talented Jude Mooney.)

He is only three weeks old and I am still completely blown away by it all…

By the fact that he was once inside of me.

By how absolutely amazing women are.

By seeing my son bundled in my husband’s arms.

By the love we have received from our incredible community.

By the multitude of faces…

…one creature can make…

…in a matter of seconds.


By my mom.

By my dog, who sat quietly with me during the whole (very long) birth.

And by this new person…

…who is making me fall in love…

…a little bit more…

….every day.

You Made My Life…

I love a good love story, and I don’t think there is a better love story than my grandparents’ love story.

In high school my grandfather, Bob Harper, had a crush on my grandmother, Sally Lofgren, but because he was so terribly shy he couldn’t do a thing about it.

So my grandfather’s best friend, George McCoy, locked him in the basement and refused to let him out until my grandfather called and asked my grandmother out.

And that one phone call was the spark that created all of this…

I have always believed that my grandparents’ relationship was a good example of what a relationship should and could be, so before Arann and I got married in 2009 I asked my grandfather to share his thoughts on the secret to a good marriage. This is the message he sent to us:

I’m not an expert on marriage, but I’ve had a lot of experience. Sally and I have been married almost 65 years. So, what’s the answer:

Marry early.

Have good genes.

Take advantage of high-tech medical care.

Sleep in the same bed.

AND

Sexual attraction may be the starting point, but it’s not the name of the game.

“If’ it’s only sex,” as the words go in the song; Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend, “we all lose our charms in the end.” The hormones cease to rush.

The real game is a version of the Golden Rule: Do unto your spouse as you would have him or her do unto you.

When you say “I do,” you really become one; you are equal; you are no longer ‘me’, you’re us! You’re a team. 1 plus 1 = us.

In a marriage, no one’s the boss. You share the ups, the downs, family decisions, chores, what needs to be done.

You see Sally and me as old folks, but I can tell you, to me, Sally is more beautiful than when we married because I’ve learned who she really is – what a wonderful person she is.

She’s been my best friend for all these years.

She was my mysterious lover when we started; over the years I’ve learned to know what a lovely individual she is – and she’s my loyal roommate. I’m with her from morning to night and love it.

I’ve been blessed to spend most of my waking days for the past 65 years with my best friend – she’s my wife; I’m her husband. I can’t imagine life without her.

The secret of marriage is feeling that way about your spouse – and having her feel that way about you.

Today, September 26th 2011, my grandmother, Sally Ann Harper, passed away… just two days before their 67th wedding anniversary.

My grandfather’s last words to her, “You made my life.”

My grandpa will always be my favorite Santa…

Christmas has always been my grandfather’s favorite holiday and because of all the love he puts in to it year after year, he has made it our favorite holiday too. It is all about the traditions.

Every year all 14 of us roll in from where ever we live and move in to their house for the week.

Every year I wrap my presents for my family in newspapers, hoping maybe one year it will catch on.

Every year my grandfather gives my grandmother at least one gift she doesn’t like.

Every year my mom really likes to sing Christmas carols.

Every year my vegetarian brother eats fake bacon and my grandfather refers to it as his eating disorder.

Every year we wear crowns on our heads, say grace and eat lots of food.

And every year, after is all said and done, we pack up our new loot and return to our respective states and my grandparents once again have their house back. But this year there was a small but significant change in tradition…

This year my grandfather waited and let us decorate the Christmas tree.

But it wasn’t an easy thing for my grandparents to watch. 65 years of marriage means they know how they like their Christmas tree to be decorated and they weren’t so sure we were doing it right.

And although we enjoyed ourselves, despite our lack of Christmas tree decorating style, it was hard for us to let them sit there.

It was breaking tradition. It was my grandfather taking a step back and giving away a little control. And the reason for his step back is a hard thing to think about. So we do our best not to think about it.

Instead we are so grateful for every day and every tradition we have and we hope with all our hearts that it will all be exactly the same next year.

65 Years (part I): Photos For My Blob

Happy 65 years of marriage to my grandparents, Bob and Sally Harper. For their celebration, they took 14 of us to Washington State. The first four days we spent hiking around Mount Rainer, and the last three days we explored Lopez Island, in the San Juan Islands.

The whole journey was amazing. Besides being in love with all the wildflowers on Rainer and all the wildlife around the Islands, I was also intrigued by the small town communities we invaded. We went from small mountain town to small island town… both very fascinating communities. I wish I could have stayed a little longer to get under the skin a little more, but even from the outside it was interesting to observe. It just may be a project for another day.

In the meantime, here is a more personal documentary… this is what 65 years of marriage and a strong commitment to family can give you…

While I was taking a photo of my grandparents playing cards, my grandmother asked me, “Are you going to put this on your blob?” She wasn’t excited about me taking the photo at the time, but she reluctantly allowed me to anyway, because she figured her friends probably don’t read blobs anyway.

The Last You’ll Hear From Me… for a little while…

I am taking a break….

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Packing my belongings…..

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Saying goodbye to Lou…

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And heading to the airport…

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I will be hiking up Mt Rainier and then kayaking around Lopez Island, in Washington State, for the next week, with all my relatives, as we celebrate my grandparents’ (not pictured above) 65th wedding anniversary. I can’t wait.

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