Not named after the Bionic Woman for nothing…

My best friend Lindsay, who is named after Lindsay Wagner the bionic woman, has always had an amazing talent for walking on her hands… which she has done, more times than I can count, in all the different countries and states we have lived in together.

For her 30th birthday we went trapezing in Oakland. It was heaven for Lindsay. She was by far the best in the class. She ended the party with a release-flip-hand-grab-of-other-guy-on-a-swing-flip-land. (I am sure the move has a more technical name, but I don’t know what that is.) And don’t even think you can beat her on a trampoline; she still has battle scars from beating the last person who was so bold.

Her dream is to compete on American Gladiator.

Shortly after Lindsay’s all-star performance at her birthday party, she was helping her parents clean out their garage when she found a box with old photos of muscle-ly people doing stunts on a beach. And for the first time, after 30 years of inexplicably walking on her hands, Lindsay learned she was related to a man who was a stunt double for many famous actors, including Gene Kelly, and who was a fixture at Santa Monica’s Muscle Beach, instructing aspiring acrobats who trained there… and suddenly everything made sense.

Lindsay is now writing a book about her flexible and muscle-ly long-lost relative. And because she is on a search for knowledge, we went to check out what Southern California’s Muscle Beach is like today, 70 years later.

This is what we found…

A 63-year-old hand-me-down American flag undies guy, who had more photos of himself with our dear governor Arnold, than he had teeth. He works out four times a week and it costs $2 to take his photograph… and he really wants you to take a picture of his butt.

We also met his archrival… the young American flag undies guy who says he loaned the older American flag undies guy his old pair of American flag undies… and that was a little too much information.

It costs $3 to take a photo with him and he gets to feel you up in the process.

But it was a small price to pay for the photo that will soon be Lindsay’s author photo in the book she is writing about her uncle.

Happy Birthday, Lindsay. I love every adventure we have together and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Where half of my genes come from

This is my father. He loves the lake and motor powered objects.


This is my dad with one of his boats. He really likes to teach people to water ski. He taught me when I was four and so 26 years later one thing I can say with confidence… I am good at water-skiing.


And this is my dad with his gold corvette (the bat mobile.)


And this is his garage art.

The Town Clerk at home

“Family is everything.”


This is Sandra Gowan’s family. Sandra is the town clerk. Her husband is the town magistrate. Her mom worked a textile mill, the old industry, and her son works at the BMW plant, the new industry.


The Brady Family Off Work


Tim Brady is the Assistant Chief of the Reidville Fire Department. His wife Dolly makes missiles for the military. The lab Buddy retrieves doves when Tim takes him hunting and the chihuahua Hunter barks, at everything.

Walter Anderson


“91 years old and nothing aches.” A farmer all his life with nothing left to farm except the weeds. He still has 15o acres left over from the land grant that was given to his great grandfather by the King of England, and to the developers’ dismay, he is saving it for his kids.


The house in the painting is Holly Hill, his family lost it during the depression and the man who owns it now has added an Olympic size pool. The photo on top of the tv is of Walter and his wife, who passed away last Christmas. He said he knew he was going to marry her the minute he saw her and now he pulls weeds to keep his heart and mind busy. Walter watches Fox news, the stock market channel or the gospel choir everyday.


Walter has been sitting at the same end of the pew, in the third row, for all of his 91 years. He believes God saves fools and babies.



This is Taylor. She just turned 10 and for her birthday she wanted to have a boy-girl dance party. Her favorite presents were a razor to shave her legs and a toothbrush with a picture of a new boy-band singer who sings when you brush your teeth. She is wearing her new favorite clothes she got for her birthday.


Unfortunately the party was not a huge success, because it seems 10 year old boys are not as into dance parties as 10 year old girls and so Taylor spent most of the time upset that her boyfriend was not acting the way she wanted. And by the end of the party there was a rumor that he was going to break up with her which made her upset because she really wanted to have a boyfriend for the fifth grade. Taylor’s mom (left) and step-mom (right) tried to make her feel better by giving her their relationship advice.


Moments later the grandmother’s ex-husband, who she is dating again, rough-housed with this dog until the dog bit his arm and made him bleed.

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