I love a good love story, and I don’t think there is a better love story than my grandparents’ love story.
In high school my grandfather, Bob Harper, had a crush on my grandmother, Sally Lofgren, but because he was so terribly shy he couldn’t do a thing about it.
So my grandfather’s best friend, George McCoy, locked him in the basement and refused to let him out until my grandfather called and asked my grandmother out.
And that one phone call was the spark that created all of this…
I have always believed that my grandparents’ relationship was a good example of what a relationship should and could be, so before Arann and I got married in 2009 I asked my grandfather to share his thoughts on the secret to a good marriage. This is the message he sent to us:
I’m not an expert on marriage, but I’ve had a lot of experience. Sally and I have been married almost 65 years. So, what’s the answer:
Have good genes.
Take advantage of high-tech medical care.
Sleep in the same bed.
Sexual attraction may be the starting point, but it’s not the name of the game.
“If’ it’s only sex,” as the words go in the song; Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend, “we all lose our charms in the end.” The hormones cease to rush.
The real game is a version of the Golden Rule: Do unto your spouse as you would have him or her do unto you.
When you say “I do,” you really become one; you are equal; you are no longer ‘me’, you’re us! You’re a team. 1 plus 1 = us.
In a marriage, no one’s the boss. You share the ups, the downs, family decisions, chores, what needs to be done.
You see Sally and me as old folks, but I can tell you, to me, Sally is more beautiful than when we married because I’ve learned who she really is – what a wonderful person she is.
She’s been my best friend for all these years.
She was my mysterious lover when we started; over the years I’ve learned to know what a lovely individual she is – and she’s my loyal roommate. I’m with her from morning to night and love it.
I’ve been blessed to spend most of my waking days for the past 65 years with my best friend – she’s my wife; I’m her husband. I can’t imagine life without her.
The secret of marriage is feeling that way about your spouse – and having her feel that way about you.
Today, September 26th 2011, my grandmother, Sally Ann Harper, passed away… just two days before their 67th wedding anniversary.
My grandfather’s last words to her, “You made my life.”