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We are going to Iowa…

On April 4th, 2010, our wedding anniversary, Arann and I went to Tomales Bay, to the house where we stayed the night we got married.

Well, fake married. We haven’t legally gotten married yet.

In November 2008, we were at the height of our wedding planning when California passed Proposition 8, denying same-sex couples the right to get married, and we were heart broken. We thought about canceling the wedding, but instead we decided to continue with our plans, because we felt the ceremony with our loved ones was the most important part.

And on April 4th, 2009, we had an amazing celebration with family and friends.

But because we want to get legally married in a state where all people are allowed to get married, we haven’t gotten legally married yet.

At first I didn’t think the legal part mattered to me. But a year later, I can feel the difference. Even though people, and insurance agencies, don’t question us when we say we’re married. And even though we made our vows to each other, and in my heart I know that is the most important part. I also know that if anything happens to one of us, the other one has no legal rights. And that bothers me.

So in June…

We are going to Iowa.

Because who wants to go to Iowa to get married?

We do.

We want to support the middle state that has historically been a leader in civil rights.

First making a stand against slavery in the civil war, and then putting woman’s suffrage on the agenda 50 years before the rest of the country.

And now leading the way again with same-sex marriage, which became legal in Iowa on April 3, 2009, the day before we got fake married.

Coincidence?

No way.

We are going to Iowa.


About the author paige green

Paige Green is a documentary and portrait photographer, whose storytelling approach to photography frequently addresses issues involving agriculture, land use, and food. Her work is featured in nine books and has been published in Glamour, National Geographic Traveler, New York Times Magazine, Conde Nast Traveler, GQ, Country Living, House Beautiful, and Culture. Paige lives in Petaluma, CA with a house full of boys.

All posts by paige green →

11 Comments

  1. You just made me cry- you are such good people. Thank you.

    Reply

  2. Paige… This is amazing. I am very very touched.

    Reply

  3. Paige, such a powerful and important message and so beautifully written. I am so fortunate you two are my best friends. I am inspired. Much love.

    Reply

  4. I love that your’re going to Iowa, getting married in the heartland…..PERFECT!

    xoxo to both of you.

    ps…….Minneapolis is not far from Iowa….wanna be pampered?

    Reply

  5. April Moore Skelton April 28, 2010 at 5:53 am

    Thank you, Paige and Arran. I am proud to know the both of you.

    Reply

  6. ditto to all of it and more.
    i was proud to be a part of the day and i’m proud to spread the word of your conviction now.
    have an amazing, fulfilling trip, paige. send a big hug to arran, too!

    Reply

  7. oh, and the photos here are so beautiful.
    we were sad to miss your one-year celebration.
    xom

    Reply

  8. Congratulations! Again! Yay for Iowa. Also, it’s neat that you can walk on water!

    Reply

  9. Yeah for Iowa that they get to have you two in their record books. Yeah for love & for photographs that make you feel love.

    Reply

  10. You both are amazing…such a wonderful idea. Congratulations on getting married again!! Lots of love to you both. Thomas x

    Reply

  11. The photos are almost as beautiful as your message. If more people thought like you and your [soon-to-be-legal] husband did, the world would be a much better place!

    Reply

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