On April 4th, 2010, our wedding anniversary, Arann and I went to Tomales Bay, to the house where we stayed the night we got married.
Well, fake married. We haven’t legally gotten married yet.
In November 2008, we were at the height of our wedding planning when California passed Proposition 8, denying same-sex couples the right to get married, and we were heart broken. We thought about canceling the wedding, but instead we decided to continue with our plans, because we felt the ceremony with our loved ones was the most important part.
And on April 4th, 2009, we had an amazing celebration with family and friends.
But because we want to get legally married in a state where all people are allowed to get married, we haven’t gotten legally married yet.
At first I didn’t think the legal part mattered to me. But a year later, I can feel the difference. Even though people, and insurance agencies, don’t question us when we say we’re married. And even though we made our vows to each other, and in my heart I know that is the most important part. I also know that if anything happens to one of us, the other one has no legal rights. And that bothers me.
So in June…
We are going to Iowa.
Because who wants to go to Iowa to get married?
We do.
We want to support the middle state that has historically been a leader in civil rights.
First making a stand against slavery in the civil war, and then putting woman’s suffrage on the agenda 50 years before the rest of the country.
And now leading the way again with same-sex marriage, which became legal in Iowa on April 3, 2009, the day before we got fake married.
Coincidence?
No way.
We are going to Iowa.
somewhere between a handshake and two kisses 
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